Charge up to Love and Lust Alive

Do all seasoned relationships lose their sizzle over time? Not necessarily. Remember the high you felt when you first fell in love? That heady cloud nine feeling? Although you still love your partner, you still care for him or her, you still feel secure and comfortable with him or her, the lust, the romance, the passion no longer lights your flame.

What is missing is the dopamine rush─ the brain chemical that promotes ecstatic pleasure ─ the testosterone, oxytocin, vasopressin, endogenous opiods ─ that enhance love, lust, romance, and passion. In case you think this waning of passion is inevitable, think again. No matter the rut you are in, no matter how dispirited you feel, no matter the short supply of the good mood neurotransmitter Serotonin, you can change all of that.
You can bring romance and passion back. In the process a cascade of good mood, love, and lust brain chemicals will bathe your partner and you. The first step is to clear the deck of old stumbling blocks so that you can bring fresh experience on deck. When you change your mind, you will change your brain.

Here's how.

In my practice bringing love and lust back takes a back seat to letting go of the anger, the disappointments, the hurt of the past. You must resolve all of this first. It took two of you to get into this place so it will take the two of you to get out of it. Here then are some tips.

Communicate your feelings to your partner with "I" statements that do not attack or blame him. The listen to his side of the story.

Climb on board with him, allow yourself to walk in his shoes, to empathize with him. Then and only then can the process of forgiveness begin. Did you know that the brain houses empathy and forgiveness in the same cortices? That means as you empathize with him, you can forgive him.

As soon as you feel more at ease with your partner, the train carrying romance, lust and passion can get on track. What charges up the engine is novelty.
Change begins in the imagination. First you fantasize and then you enact the following:.
• Fantasize the verbal and sensual foreplay at a distance from your partner. Text, call, or email one another. Experience the thrill of expectations for him or her. Put it into action. When you begin making love, rather than consummating the sex act, let foreplay linger on and on so that longing mounts.

• Surrender to the feelings that arise in you as you surrender to your partner. The magic arises when you lose yourself in your partner only to find yourself.

• If you have always made love in your bed, imagine making love in a hot air balloon, in the shower, naked on a sunny beach, or any other romantic novel places that come to mind. Then pick some of these places, invite your partner to your hot spot and go for it.

• Imagine making love in different positions and in different ways and then try these novel ways of love-making.

• How about time of day or night? If love-making was reserved for after dinner when the dishes were done, leave them in the sink. How about love in the morning, at noon, or in the afternoon?

These are only some suggestions that may or may not register with you. My hope is that you are inspired to create your own novelty to spice up a lack-luster relationship. Life is not forever, but love and lust can make each precious moment of it more vibrant, vital, and fulfilling.

Study gauges sex time

Penn State researcher Eric Corty recently concluded that "desirable" sex usually lasts between seven and 13 minutes on average, contrary to popular belief.

Through surveys of 50 sex therapists from the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, Corty, associate professor of psychology and Jenay Guardiani, fellow Penn State Erie researcher, found ranges of time to classify sexual intercourse as too short, adequate, desirable or too long.

"I was curious as to how long was most pleasurable ... and I wanted to relieve some anxiety that some Americans have about the duration of intercourse," Corty said. "I found that some people have unrealistic expectations about how long sexual intercourse should last."

According to the surveys, three to seven minutes is considered "adequate," seven to 13 minutes is considered "desirable," one to two minutes is considered "too short" and 10 to 30 minutes is considered "too long."

"I think people who have really long sex don't have much substance to their relationships," Brittney Barbieri (freshman-biobehavioral health) said. "But seven to 13 minutes sounds about right -- get in, get off, get out."

While this study may show the duration of sexual intercourse has specific pleasurable ranges, biobehavioral health instructor Spring Cooper says the range of time for an entire pleasurable sexual experience could be significant.

"Intercourse is lasting that long -- not the whole sexual interaction. That seven to 13 minute range is excluding kissing, touching, fondling, etc.," she said.

Cooper said one thing to keep in mind is that the duration of intercourse should not be more important than pleasure.

"People do have to understand that it's just the intercourse that he's talking about," Cooper said. "If people have a shorter sexual interaction, they might think the sex is shorter, but it's more likely that the entire interaction that was shorter."

Numerical values for the time ranges were judged by sex therapists in a variety of ways, and it should be considered that the values are averages, Corty said.

"These are people who've been in practice for years, so they've talked to a lot of people, but they also keep up on research and current studies," he said. "It's a combination of clinical experience, contemporary research and education."

Corty hopes his research will relieve stress some may have about how long their sex lasts, but Cooper feels such high expectations are because of overestimating the time spent having intercourse by including foreplay.

"People sometimes spend a lot of time on foreplay and then notice that an hour's gone, but that doesn't mean the entire hour was specifically intercourse," Cooper said. "If people knew how long they were actually having sex, I don't think they'd be as stressed about the pressure for intercourse to last."

Although encouraged by the publicity his findings have attracted, Corty does not want his research to cause people to judge their sex lives as abnormal.

"I'm pleased with how much publicity this is getting, but I do want to be real careful when people discuss this because these are averages," Corty said. "If the average shoe size in the United States is a seven and your foot is a size eight, there's nothing wrong. It's just different than average."

Lust and Love - Is it more than chemistry?-Royal Society of Chemistry

The Royal Society of Chemistry has come up with ten things you never knew about lust and love, taken from its recently published Lust and Love - Is it more than chemistry? book by Gabriele and Rolf Frobose.

1. The cuddle hormone

Oxytocin - the "cuddle" hormone - is why women like to cuddle up after sex. Their oxytocin levels are much higher after sexual encounters, creating a feeling of closeness and comfort. Men also have oxytocin, but it is compensated for by higher levels of testosterone - so they are less prone to cuddling!

2. 3kg of lipstick in a lifetime!

Miss average will put on around 3kg of lipstick on her lips throughout her lifetime. 92 per cent of women in industrialised countries use lipstick, and it is at the top of the league of items most frequently shoplifted.

3. The sweat effect

The smell of a man's sweat may not be the turn off one might think - an experiment at Northumbria University in 2000 asked 16 students to judge the looks of various men in pictures. Then without the girls' knowledge, a cloth soaked in male sweat was placed in the room and the experiment repeated - with phenomenal results. Men previously judged unattractive were seen in a new light. Even those judged the least attractive in the first viewing were able to catch up to their more handsome rivals in the second viewing. So men could try wiping their sweat on their handkerchief and leaving it showing when they ask out a potential date!

4. The love hormone

Dopamine is a hormone which people in love have generally much higher levels of than those who are unattached. Not enough dopamine can lead to Parkinson's disease or Schizophrenia, while too much can make one a little too amorous - is this why Casanova became pathologically addicted to love?

5. Men and women fancying each other

Is there such a thing as love at first sight? If a woman fancies a man, she will look to make eye contact early in the conversation - even if she is shy! If a man fancies a woman, he will quickly begin asking her questions about herself - but if he doesn't, he will make bland general observations about the weather or other generic topics!


Lust and Love - is it more than just chemistry?


6. The direct approach - men like it, women don't!

American psychologist David Buss carried out a survey on the pulling tactics used by the sexes and found - unsurprisingly - that men are turned on by women wearing tight fitting, revealing clothes; that dance provocatively and have long legs and swinging hips. Most men would also be receptive to a woman "grinding" herself up against him at a bar. Women were much less impressed by corresponding approaches by men - with the study concluding men like explicit behaviour in women, whereas women find it objectionable and sometimes repulsive in men.

7. Sex cures your headache!

Whenever we have sex, we release morphine-like substances called endorphins into our bodies. These hormones - from a group called opiates - are both pleasure causing and natural painkillers - thus sex can cure your headache! Couples who are close are full of these opiates, as are a mother and her new born baby. It is this shared "high" that contributes to the formation of the mother-baby bond.

8. Perfume - chemistry made it cheaper!Many of the natural fragrants used in perfumes are incredibly expensive, so have been replaced by cheaper synthetic alternatives. Although many people would no doubt prefer the real thing, the cost of preparing - for example - one kilogram of attar of roses requires five tonnes of petals, costing some £3,500! Thus synthetic chemistry has made perfumes affordable to the masses.

9. Oysters - aphrodisiac or myth?

Oysters are believed to aphrodisiacs the world over - China and Japan attribute miraculous effects to the Asian Oyster Crassostrea gigas. The Danes go even further - their traditional name for the Oyster is kudefisk, which literally means vulva fish!
However, the Oyster does not have much to offer by way of active ingredients, and it is more likely its semi-liquidity, its somewhat evocative appearance and the taste of salt and sea that are responsible for any love inducing effects! The suggestion of luxury associated with a dinner of oysters by candlelight could also reinforce this "placebo" effect.

10. Eyes not nose to find a mate

Throughout evolution, our ancestors have gradually trust their eyes more than their noses - researchers believe that we are not very good at responding to chemical signals in mating. Some of our primate cousins are much better however - while we always look at each other before mating - the squirrel monkey, much more adept with its nose - will sniff at a potential mate.

Lust free Living

Lust Free Living is a small-group curriculum for Christian men and women who struggle with lust and sexual issues. It was developed as a short, easy to read, blunt, honest and direct way for Christian men and women to talk about sexual issues. It is Biblically sound and walks men through actual, solid, concrete help. A Coaching Guide with videos for each chapter is available to set the tone for maximum effectiveness.

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LUST is the missing piece of the puzzle.

When you have almost finished the puzzle, you discover that there is one small, lousy piece missing. This is the moment we want to capture, because this is the moment something basic is going to happen. Whether you start searching until you find the missing piece, or you throw away the puzzle altogether. Both options are a thousand times more interesting than the moment the puzzle is finished, because when that happens, there is nothing more. However, what you will remember ­ the thing that indelibly stays with you ­ is that puzzle with the hole: the part asking for interpretation.



Whenever, or whatever, we were designing, we kept coming across a term that was distilled from the large quantities of data we always use as our idea/inspiration base. That term was LUST.
LUST is a term that cannot be clearly defined. LUST concerns the difference between RATIO and COINCIDENCE, between vision and urge. From the multiplication of these terms, designs emerge that have often an autonomous character, yet almost always have a relation with previous LUST designs. LUST designs & philosophy do not emerge from style but from interpretation and conceptualization of the assignment. We are mainly interested in CONTEXT and ASSOCIATION.

here it offers you a peek into our world called LUST. We have given this world a tangiable structure that should challenge, as well as, guide you through all the layers of our thought processes. We have built in many hidden or random links and elements into this world, so be curious and explore your way through it! No one interpretation of LUST is correct. Your conclusion is just as valid as ours. LUST is, after all, personal. Everybody carries their own baggage with them. We respect your baggage, but at the same time would like to show you ours. We want to try to push you, encourage you to participate in this dialog until the transformation takes place towards personal insight, personal investigation, and personal conclusions within LUST.

After all, it's all about exhalting DEGRADATION, or, the closer you get to the truth, the uglier things will be. In the end, there is only a black square.

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Lust

What is lust??
Lust is everything,
I will say lust is the power of the generative world.
Lust is any intense desire or craving for self gratification. Lust can mean strictly sexual lust, although it is also common to speak of a "lust for life", "lust for blood (bloodlust for short)", or a "lust for power" or other goals. The Greek word which translates as lust is epithymia (επιθυμια), which also is translated into English as "to covet
Etymology
The word is derived from the Old English term for desire, and ultimately from a Germanic which also originated High German lust ('wish, desire'). In German, the word Lust denotes simply "desire".

Obsolete uses include lust in the sense of pleasure, or relish.


Lust in the context of religion

Christianity—General
Catholic tradition considers lust to be one of the main sins or vices.


Christianity—Roman Catholicism
Roman Catholic Church teaches that lust is one of the seven capital vices, popularly known as the seven deadly sins. A vice, according to this tradition, is a "habit inclining one to sin" [1]. The specific sins to which lust may lead are fornication, adultery, incest, criminal assault, abduction, sodomy, rape, and others. [2]. However, "Such guilt as [one] may have contracted in any case is charged directly to the sinful act, not to the vice;" [3] in other words, it is the specific sins, and not the vice itself, which deprive one's soul of sanctifying grace and make one deserving of God's punishment.

Punishment in the afterlife
According to some Christian sources [4], reprobates whose chief unforgiven sin is lust are punished in Hell by being "smothered in fire and brimstone." However, while most Christian traditions agree that at some point after death the damned individuals find themselves in a hell where they suffer punishment for their sins, most traditions also agree that one can only speculate regarding the precise nature of any punishment above and beyond the principal torment, which comes simply from being totally separated from God.


Repentance in Purgatory
According to The Divine Comedy, penance who are guilty of lust cleanse their soul of the sin by walking through flames, thereby purging their minds of all lustful thoughts.