Lust and Love - Is it more than chemistry?-Royal Society of Chemistry

The Royal Society of Chemistry has come up with ten things you never knew about lust and love, taken from its recently published Lust and Love - Is it more than chemistry? book by Gabriele and Rolf Frobose.

1. The cuddle hormone

Oxytocin - the "cuddle" hormone - is why women like to cuddle up after sex. Their oxytocin levels are much higher after sexual encounters, creating a feeling of closeness and comfort. Men also have oxytocin, but it is compensated for by higher levels of testosterone - so they are less prone to cuddling!

2. 3kg of lipstick in a lifetime!

Miss average will put on around 3kg of lipstick on her lips throughout her lifetime. 92 per cent of women in industrialised countries use lipstick, and it is at the top of the league of items most frequently shoplifted.

3. The sweat effect

The smell of a man's sweat may not be the turn off one might think - an experiment at Northumbria University in 2000 asked 16 students to judge the looks of various men in pictures. Then without the girls' knowledge, a cloth soaked in male sweat was placed in the room and the experiment repeated - with phenomenal results. Men previously judged unattractive were seen in a new light. Even those judged the least attractive in the first viewing were able to catch up to their more handsome rivals in the second viewing. So men could try wiping their sweat on their handkerchief and leaving it showing when they ask out a potential date!

4. The love hormone

Dopamine is a hormone which people in love have generally much higher levels of than those who are unattached. Not enough dopamine can lead to Parkinson's disease or Schizophrenia, while too much can make one a little too amorous - is this why Casanova became pathologically addicted to love?

5. Men and women fancying each other

Is there such a thing as love at first sight? If a woman fancies a man, she will look to make eye contact early in the conversation - even if she is shy! If a man fancies a woman, he will quickly begin asking her questions about herself - but if he doesn't, he will make bland general observations about the weather or other generic topics!


Lust and Love - is it more than just chemistry?


6. The direct approach - men like it, women don't!

American psychologist David Buss carried out a survey on the pulling tactics used by the sexes and found - unsurprisingly - that men are turned on by women wearing tight fitting, revealing clothes; that dance provocatively and have long legs and swinging hips. Most men would also be receptive to a woman "grinding" herself up against him at a bar. Women were much less impressed by corresponding approaches by men - with the study concluding men like explicit behaviour in women, whereas women find it objectionable and sometimes repulsive in men.

7. Sex cures your headache!

Whenever we have sex, we release morphine-like substances called endorphins into our bodies. These hormones - from a group called opiates - are both pleasure causing and natural painkillers - thus sex can cure your headache! Couples who are close are full of these opiates, as are a mother and her new born baby. It is this shared "high" that contributes to the formation of the mother-baby bond.

8. Perfume - chemistry made it cheaper!Many of the natural fragrants used in perfumes are incredibly expensive, so have been replaced by cheaper synthetic alternatives. Although many people would no doubt prefer the real thing, the cost of preparing - for example - one kilogram of attar of roses requires five tonnes of petals, costing some £3,500! Thus synthetic chemistry has made perfumes affordable to the masses.

9. Oysters - aphrodisiac or myth?

Oysters are believed to aphrodisiacs the world over - China and Japan attribute miraculous effects to the Asian Oyster Crassostrea gigas. The Danes go even further - their traditional name for the Oyster is kudefisk, which literally means vulva fish!
However, the Oyster does not have much to offer by way of active ingredients, and it is more likely its semi-liquidity, its somewhat evocative appearance and the taste of salt and sea that are responsible for any love inducing effects! The suggestion of luxury associated with a dinner of oysters by candlelight could also reinforce this "placebo" effect.

10. Eyes not nose to find a mate

Throughout evolution, our ancestors have gradually trust their eyes more than their noses - researchers believe that we are not very good at responding to chemical signals in mating. Some of our primate cousins are much better however - while we always look at each other before mating - the squirrel monkey, much more adept with its nose - will sniff at a potential mate.

Sex Tips For Geeks: On Being Good In Bed

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Lust Facts :Always aroused: A good thing gone awry

we should all be careful what we wish for when we are wishing for more feelings of desire. “Anything unrelenting is torture.”
Suze has begun conversations with doctors this way: "I want to talk to you about something, but you have to give me your word you will not laugh or give a flippant response because it is a serious situation."
In short, Suze has too much of a good thing. For days, sometimes weeks at a time, she feels constantly aroused, but can't get any satisfaction.
Despite the preamble, though, "one doctor looked at me and said, 'What a lucky man your husband is! I wish my wife had this,'" says Suze, 63, a retired nurse in Florida. Others have asked, "So, is this like being a nymphomaniac?"
Hardly. Suze, who asked that her last name not be published, has what is now called persistent genital arousal disorder, or PGAD. It was first named by sex therapist Sandra Leiblum in 2001 as persistent sexual arousal syndrome, but as Leiblum and others have begun studying patients, she decided that it was more a disorder than a syndrome, a syndrome being a constellation of symptoms that suggest the presence of true disease.
In a recent article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, Leiblum and her co-authors identified a series of medical and psychological traits, including depression and panic attacks, that can accompany PGAD. Though some women are helped by psychiatric drugs, Leiblum strenuously resists the idea that the problem is necessarily psychological. “I do think there is always some organic contribution, but we just do not know what it is.”
Exactly what it is remains murky, but Suze’s symptoms, like that of other sufferers, involves a feeling of "fullness" — a constant engorgement — of the genitals that is unprompted by erotic thoughts or feelings.
"I could be in the middle of a tennis game [or] playing canasta," Suze says, "and then suddenly have this intense urge for intimacy. I could masturbate five times or 105 times and it would only make it worse."
Leiblum, who is now in private practice in Bridgewater, N.J., and treats a wide variety of sexual and relationship complaints, says her description of the disorder did not occur until 2001 because, like most sex therapists (and sex columnists), she heard many more complaints about lack of desire and arousal than she ever heard about too much of it.
Some women with PGAD tried approaching doctors, Leiblum says, but “I took it seriously and listened to what women were telling me. I said to myself, ‘This is bizarre and different from anything else I have heard of,’ but I believed what women told me rather than writing them off.”
Nobody knows how many women might suffer from PGAD. And the feeling of genital arousal is not always unwelcome. Some women like it. But if it is not causing distress, it is not considered a disorder, and so such women cannot be said to truly have PGAD. The ones who do describe a living hell.
Just repressed?
Heather Dearmon, a 33-year-old housewife and mother in South Carolina, became so desperate she voluntarily had herself committed — twice — to psychiatric institutions. “One psychiatrist said I must be sexually repressed and needed to experiment more," she says. "He suggested I try lesbianism.”
Her symptoms began during her pregnancy with her son. She asked her ob-gyn, who suggested that the pregnancy may have played havoc with Dearmon’s hormones and advised waiting it out, hoping the urges would subside after the birth. “But the day after I gave birth they came back,” she recalls.
The feelings were so intense and so persistent that she was unable to ignore them or even carry out daily functions. “It got to the point where morning, afternoon and night I had to take care of it. But the more you masturbate, the more you desensitize yourself so it would take a good hour to have three orgasms. This is at the point when I started to become suicidal. My whole life was being robbed from me.” She began pushing her husband away because she treasured any time she was not feeling aroused.
Finally, with her fears mounting over plans for a long family car trip, a doctor prescribed the anti-anxiety medication Paxil. Soon after beginning dosing herself, she found the urges became less frequent. Now, she can go up to 10 days without having to masturbate, though by day seven the arousal, focused on her clitoris, is often severe.
Why this happens remains a mystery. Research is still at an early stage, but some tantalizing hints have begun to emerge. One of Leiblum’s collaborators in England has found that some women complaining of PGAD can have concomitant conditions like a yeast infection or a dermatological outbreak around the genitals. But Leiblum stresses that the only thing for sure is that both can happen at the same time, not that one causes the other.
Sometimes biofeedback techniques can help, suggests sex researcher Beverly Whipple. “A couple of women were very successful,” she says.
Sex and the brain
Whipple, Leiblum and Rutgers University psychology professor Barry Komisaruk (Whipple’s co-author of their 2006 book, "The Science of Orgasm") are currently using MRIs to examine the brains of women suffering from PGAD in hopes of discovering how the central nervous system might play a role.
The PGAD mystery is just one of several linking the brain with too much arousal. One woman had spontaneous orgasms while brushing her teeth though she did not have orgasms while having intercourse or masturbating. The tooth brushing apparently triggered epileptic seizures that, in turn, caused the orgasms. (People with epilepsy sometimes do experience what is called “orgasmic aura.” In some cases, patients have been known to refuse treatment because they like the sensations.) Another woman had orgasms due to a vascular abnormality in her brain.
Men with obsessive-compulsive disorder have been known to have unwanted and unexpected erections. Parkinson’s patients can become hypersexual. So can people with brain injuries.

Men with a condition called priapism also can have too much of a good thing. Those constant reminders at the end of commercials for impotence drugs tell men that if they have an erection lasting four hours or longer they should seek medical advice. What they don’t say is that you might have priapism, an erection that simply won’t go away. Unlike PGAD, priapism does not usually result in a man craving release, it’s just very painful, a hydraulic malfunction that can be treated by — have a seat men — sticking a needle into the penis to draw blood out.
But even that gruesome scenario is nothing compared to what some of the women suffering from PGAD say they have experienced.

Future of Love and Sex - Robots soon will become more human-like in appearance, researcher says

The New York Times has a review of British AI researcher David Levy's book 'Love and Sex with Robots'. He claims that within a span of about 50 years the day will come when people could actually fall in love with life-like robots. While this may seem far fetched at first, he has some pretty interesting views. 'He begins with what scientists know about why humans fall in love with other humans. There are 10 factors, he writes, including mystery, reciprocal liking, and readiness to enter a relationship. Why can't these factors apply to robots, too?' The case he builds goes much further though, and certainly provides food for thought."
Sex and marriage with robots? It could happen
Humans could marry robots within the century. And consummate those vows.

"My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots," artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience. Levy recently completed his Ph.D. work on the subject of human-robot relationships, covering many of the privileges and practices that generally come with marriage as well as outside of it.

At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, "but once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon," Levy said.

The idea of romance between humanity and our artistic and/or mechanical creations dates back to ancient times, with the Greek myth of the sculptor Pygmalion falling in love with the ivory statue he made named Galatea, to which the goddess Venus eventually granted life.

This notion persists in modern times. Not only has science fiction explored this idea, but 40 years ago, scientists noticed that students at times became unusually attracted to ELIZA, a computer program designed to ask questions and mimic a psychotherapist.

"There's a trend of robots becoming more human-like in appearance and coming more in contact with humans," Levy said. "At first robots were used impersonally, in factories where they helped build automobiles, for instance. Then they were used in offices to deliver mail, or to show visitors around museums, or in homes as vacuum cleaners, such as with the Roomba. Now you have robot toys, like Sony's Aibo robot dog, or Tickle Me Elmos, or digital pets like Tamagotchis."

In his thesis, "Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners," Levy conjectures that robots will become so human-like in appearance, function and personality that many people will fall in love with them, have sex with them and even marry them.

"It may sound a little weird, but it isn't," Levy said. "Love and sex with robots are inevitable."

Sex with robots in 5 years
Levy argues that psychologists have identified roughly a dozen basic reasons why people fall in love, "and almost all of them could apply to human-robot relationships. For instance, one thing that prompts people to fall in love are similarities in personality and knowledge, and all of this is programmable. Another reason people are more likely to fall in love is if they know the other person likes them, and that's programmable too."

In 2006, Henrik Christensen, founder of the European Robotics Research Network, predicted that people will be having sex with robots within five years, and Levy thinks that's quite likely. There are companies that already sell realistic sex dolls, "and it's just a matter of adding some electronics to them to add some vibration," he said, or endowing the robots with a few audio responses. "That's fairly primitive in terms of robotics, but the technology is already there."

As software becomes more advanced and the relationship between humans and robots becomes more personal, marriage could result. "One hundred years ago, interracial marriage and same-sex marriages were illegal in the United States. Interracial marriage has been legal now for 50 years, and same-sex marriage is legal in some parts of the states," Levy said. "There has been this trend in marriage where each partner gets to make their own choice of who they want to be with."

"The question is not if this will happen, but when," Levy said. "I am convinced the answer is much earlier than you think."

When and where it'll happen
Levy predicts Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize human-robot marriage. "Massachusetts is more liberal than most other jurisdictions in the United States and has been at the forefront of same-sex marriage," Levy said. "There's also a lot of high-tech research there at places like MIT."

Although roboticist Ronald Arkin at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta does not think human-robot marriages will be legal anywhere by 2050, "anything's possible. And just because it's not legal doesn't mean people won't try it," he told LiveScience.

"Humans are very unusual creatures," Arkin said. "If you ask me if every human will want to marry a robot, my answer is probably not. But will there be a subset of people? There are people ready right now to marry sex toys."

The main benefit of human-robot marriage could be to make people who otherwise could not get married happier, "people who find it hard to form relationships, because they are extremely shy, or have psychological problems, or are just plain ugly or have unpleasant personalities," Levy said. "Of course, such people who completely give up the idea of forming relationships with other people are going to be few and far between, but they will be out there."

Ethical questions
The possibility of sex with robots could prove a mixed bag for humanity. For instance, robot sex could provide an outlet for criminal sexual urges. "If you have pedophiles and you let them use a robotic child, will that reduce the incidence of them abusing real children, or will it increase it?" Arkin asked. "I don't think anyone has the answers for that yet — that's where future research needs to be done."

Keeping a robot for sex could reduce human prostitution and the problems that come with it. However, "in a marriage or other relationship, one partner could be jealous or consider it infidelity if the other used a robot," Levy said. "But who knows, maybe some other relationships could welcome a robot. Instead of a woman saying, 'Darling, not tonight, I have a headache,' you could get 'Darling, I have a headache, why not use your robot?' "

Lust for Loving feel

Lust for Loving feel:

Like friendship, love can die. And sometimes the cause is just boredom and benign neglect.

IF DIVORCES are on the rise, what does it say about society and that crazy little thing called love? That “I love you” doesn’t mean that much anymore?

That values like faithfulness, commitment, loyalty and patience are in short supply?

That the belief that the family is the building block of society – and marriage the foundation of the family – is being chipped away?

That love is no guarantee a marriage will last? That marriage is no guarantee love will last? And that even if love doesn’t last, marriage is no longer the glue that holds couples and families together?

That love between a couple can actually die?

A recent study of the United States, Russia and the Scandinavian countries suggested that the traditional “seven-year itch” has been replaced by the five-year itch.

In the 1950s, the rule of thumb was that amber lights would flash when a marriage hit the seven-year mark. Today, couples are at their greatest risk of divorcing just before their fifth wedding anniversary.

The thing about folks like me who’ve never been married and who are maybe harbouring a secret longing to be (if we find the right person, of course) is that we’re incurable romantics.

We believe in the power of love. We actually think people mean it when they utter that till-death-do-us-part bit in their vows.

We place the institution on a pedestal and cling to fairytale ideals and images even when all around us we see daily evidence of how married life can, in fact, be pretty dreary and dreadful, the grind of housework, finances to be managed, children’s homework to be supervised and just general petty marital annoyances.

Yet, when I hear that couples I know are divorcing, I always feel sad and even let down.

How can it be that if you’ve been lucky enough to find the love of your life (for you must have, to have married each other, right?), you can no longer bear to be in each other’s company? How can you let that love slip away?

Then again, whoever said that the feeling would last forever?

When it comes to love, we’re at the mercy of our biochemistry, say researchers.

One of the best-known experts in this subject is anthropologist Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, the United States.

Love, she says, comes in three flavours and each involves different hormones and chemicals in our bodies.

Stage one is lust, that intense longing driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen which “get you out looking for anything”.

Stage two is attraction, that wondrous love-struck phase when you feel exhilarated and think obsessively of that one person.

Neurotransmitters called monoamines come into play here. There’s dopamine, which gives you waves of exquisite pleasure even over the smallest thing about your beau.

There’s also norepinephrine, which makes you sweat and your heart beat faster, and serotonin, which has a similar chemical appearance to people suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder.

If a relationship lasts, attachment takes over as the third stage (some experts say the transition from attraction to attachment can take 30 months). It is the bond that keeps couples together, especially when they go on to have children.

Two hormones are released: oxytocin which is released by both sexes during orgasm and helps them bond; and vasopressin, which supports behaviour that leads to long-term commitment.

When disaster strikes

The big problem, though, is that one person can experience the three stages at the same time, with disastrous consequences.

Says Dr Fisher: “You can feel deep attachment for a long-term spouse, while you feel romantic love for someone else, while you feel the sex drive in situations unrelated to either partner.”

The result? Adultery, pain, anger, jealousy and ultimately even divorce.

The thing about love I’ve found is that familiarity does breed contempt or at least boredom, and you’ve really got to work to keep the feeling going.

Little things about your partner that were sweet in the beginning inevitably start to sour once you’ve past the lovesick stage.

Little annoyances can accumulate to make you explode.

But for some, love has a use-by date. Just as friendship between platonic friends can outlive itself, so, too, can long-term romantic love.

I’ve found that love can disappear for a variety of reasons. The cause can be sensational, such as when a partner does something that hurts and deceives you.

More often though, the reasons are prosaic, like over-familiarity, boredom and benign neglect. And with the first-stage lust long gone, the love is quickly spent and you just aren’t into each other anymore.

Still, to have loved and lost must surely be better than to have never loved at all. – The Straits Times Singapore / Asia News Network

Lust thinks

Lust is a primary ingredient of sex addiction. In our correspondence with sex addicts, we find that people are often confused about what lust is. Lust is harmful to the body, mind and spirit, and it can easily be mistaken for love. Lust has the opposite effect of love.

Definitions (Webster’s 9th New Collegiate Dictionary):
Lust: (n) Intense or unbridled sexual desire, lasciviousness...an intense longing: craving; (v) to have an intense desire or need, crave
Desire: (n) Conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment... longing, craving...Sexual urge or appetite

How lust got started: One of the Greek words for lust is Epithumia (Strong’s #1939), meaning the "desire for what is forbidden." It is based on the lie that the forbidden pleasures are worth the cost (see sex addiction lies). Satan used this lie in the Garden and Eden. He suggested that eating the forbidden fruit would bring great god-like wisdom and the punishment wouldn't be that bad. This strongly appealed to Eve (Pride of Life), who also liked the fruit's appearance (lust of the eyes), and wanted to eat it (lust of the flesh). She discovered that the fruit did not deliver what she thought it would. The consequences included curses and separation from God.

What God says about lust: Lust is sin (Matthew 5:28) and sin is death (Romans 6:23). Jesus said, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28 NKJV). When we entertain fantasies through pornography, masturbation, voyeurism, adultery, fornication, phone sex, etc., we sin with our minds. According to Jesus, that's the same as committing the act.

Lust and pornography: Pornography uses the same lies that Satan used in the Garden of Eden. Porn images tempt our eyes and flesh to lust (see how porn works page). James described the temptation process in James 1:14-15 NKJV: "But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death." Sin by lust causes the death of innocence, sexual health, the ability to love and sensitivity to God.

What lust does to us: Lust has many destructive effects. The most serious effect is that lust corrupts our ability to love God. John explained that lust is a way of loving the world. He wrote, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever" (1 John 2:15-17 NKJV). Lust cripples our ability to give and receive love, and blocks God's love from working in us. See our page Lust vs. Love for more information.

Other effects of lust include slavery to sin, dissatisfaction, blocked blessings, separation from God, ruin, self-hatred and hardening of our heart. For an in-depth look at these, see our What Lust Does page.

Prayers: Removing lust from your life begins with confessing and repenting from our lust. We can pray this simple prayer to confess our sin to God:

"Lord, I confess that I have lusted in these specific ways: ……(name them all). I see my attitudes as sinful. I am sorry for grieving your heart in my pursuit of carnal pleasure with my eyes and mind. I ask Your forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ. Thank you, Lord, for this forgiveness I have in Jesus Christ."

Repenting from our sin is just as important as confessing it (Luke 13:3). Repentance means to turn from our sin and commit to living for God. We must sincerely turn from our sin and avoid it from this point forward:

"Lord Jesus, I turn from my lustful ways now, and I surrender every source I have used for lust: ....(name them all). I cast them off from my mind and body, committing my eyes, mind and body to serving you in holiness with your help. Lord, please teach me, strengthen me, guide me, and draw me close to You for the difficult road ahead. Thank You, Jesus, Amen."

LOVE WITHOUT SEX

In other words, love does not change just because circumstances change. Let's face it, so many people mix up, confuse love and sex, intertwining both, mistaking one for the other, that when they say, "I'm in love," all they really mean is, "I'm loving the sex that I'm having with you."

And so the question is asked, can we really love someone without having sex with them? I know that we can have sex without loving, but does the opposite apply? Well, that was the topic on FAME FM's Uncensored last Monday, and even though I only caught a few minutes of the tail end of the programme, what I heard was most intriguing and revealing.

The truth is, we are all born virgins, devoid and bereft of sex, and live for many years without any desire at all. But the fact of the matter is, it was sex that brought us here, so the genesis of our very existence lies in the carnal act. Also, if some of us only knew what circumstances brought us here, we wouldn't be so smug and judgemental of other people.

Some may have been conceived through love, yes, but I daresay that a lot were brought here through mere carnal pleasure, the byproduct of a lusty, loveless encounter, a fleeting moment of sin, perhaps even a one night stand. But what is true, in many cases, at that very moment, either the words "I love you" were uttered, or at least one party thought that love was involved. Sadly it's usually the woman who thinks this. Wake up and smell the musk, it was not love, just sex.

Still, you will never be able to convince some people that they weren't in love, while the reality is, they were merely in sex. But can we really love someone without having sex with them? Some people, men especially, will lie about it, saying that they can love a woman without having sex with her, but all they really mean is that they are masters of patience, and can play the waiting game for months on end, for he knows that in the end, if he waits her out, untold pleasures will come his way eventually.

So the words will say, "Honey, I love you, and sex really does not matter, it's not your body, but your mind that I want." But the thoughts really are, "I will hold out as long as it takes, and I will tolerate your stringing me along, but eventually you will give in, and I will have my way." And yet there are people, and men, yes men, who can genuinely love a woman without sex being a part of the equation.

One example is this movie star, Terrence Howard, one of the rising black stars, pretty-boy matinee idol types of Hollywood, a guy who you'd think was tearing down the town with his sexual exploits. And yet, he decided that he doesn't have to have sex with the women he dates even though he really cares for them. His theory is, that way, he can date several women at the same time without any feeling of guilt or cheating or emotional stress. Well, he's a strong man, and more power to him, but does he really genuinely love these women, or is he merely using them as stepping stones to the right one? When he reaches that right one, can he love her without the sex?

Closer home, on the Uncensored programme, one of the guests, emotionally said that there is a woman whom he loved for many years and it's pure and genuine, and even though she is involved with someone else, if she were to leave that relationship, and even lose the ability to have sex through some physical problem or whatever, he would still marry her in a heartbeat, knowing fully well that there would be no sex involved...forever. I must tell you, I was moved by the young man's statement, for so many of us are blinded by lust and sex, that we cannot and will never experience true love.

And yet, there are so many who proclaim that there can be no love without sex. Another guest on the programme said that was impossible, and he only gave a woman up to three weeks to let off, and after that, if she doesn't, is gone him gone, on to the next possibility.

And there are also women who share this view, for even though they profess undying love for their men, this love evaporates if the man is incapable of having sex with them, so they will leave and seek carnal pleasures elsewhere. "Is what kinda dead-stock man yu is, if you can't manage the work I will get smaddy else to help yu out." No wonder there are so many stressed-out, anxious young men around, many experimenting with male enhancers and boosters to improve their performance as they seek love.

For in their minds, no sex, no love. A lady recently told me that she read that around 40 per cent of young men in Jamaica between the ages of 25 and 40 years old, were having sexual problems, and in effect could not perform. "Imagine, when I was younger I had to run from guys that age or beat them off with a stick, and now, here it is, they are all dead stock," she said.

Whether these figures are true or not, I do not know, but even if they are close, it's cause for concern. Her argument is borne out by the fact that the sex toy, booster, enhancer, Viagra, Cyalis-laced industry has taken off to be a billion-dollar industry worldwide, and has even mushroomed here in Jamaica. People seek pleasure because they are looking for love. Men feign love looking for sex, and women fake sex looking for love. Why can't the two go hand in hand?

But we must be honest with ourselves, can we really love our partner if no sex is involved? If one day your man came home and said to you, "Honey, I have found the Lord, I have given up my life for Him, sex is a sin, so we must cease and desist," what would you do? Or if your woman said the same thing, or heaven forbid, something should happen like a physical illness or mental disorder that rendered either party incapable of having sex, would either one stay?

There are many medical reasons such as diabetes, high or low blood pressure, stress, that render men impotent. Should they worry that their women would stop loving them? There are also many reasons why women can't or will not have sex with their men, should the love fly out the window too? It's a tough call, for the truth is, sex does bring people closer together, and the more they have it, the closer the emotional bond becomes.

Take it away and there is a strong risk that the bond will be in jeopardy. Even women who are off sex like it when their man requests it of them, as it shows that he still cares. Now I'm not talking about old people who have no more desire for sex, but rather people who are still in their prime, that's when the true test of love without sex manifests itself.

We all know that sex brings problems, but it also brings great pleasure, but the pleasure far outweighs the crosses, hence the constant pursuit. What is true, is that if sex is the main focus of any relationship, then it is doomed to fail, for when the sex wanes, as it will, then there is no emotional substance, no foundation to hold the two together.

That's why so many young marriages barely last a few months, for as soon as the lust wears off, it's out the door and on to the next sexual playing field. Very few one-night stands end up in serious love. Take sex out of the equation for a bit and perhaps people may think more clearly. On that first date, the guy won't be thinking, "I wonder if she'll sleep with me later?"

And she won't be worrying, "Should I give in now, or hold out for a few weeks, but if I wait too long he might leave and if I give in now he might think me cheap and easy?!" Perhaps if they concentrated on getting to know each other, then true emotional love might grow. Now I'm starting to sound like an old man or even a parson, but it's just a thought that warrants exploring.
Love without sex, perhaps it's just a fantasy; for some, when the sex goes, so do they, but with true love, they'll stay through thick and thin, sex or no sex. As one married man told me, "Of course I can love without sex, after all I've been married for twenty years now, and I still love my wife." More time.

Technorati : lust views

Forecast of Lust for sex: Sex and Marriage With Robots by 2050

LUST FOR SEX

Humans could marry robots within the century. And consummate those vows.

"My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots," artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.

Levy recently completed his Ph.D. work on the subject of human-robot relationships, covering many of the privileges and practices that generally come with marriage as well as outside of it.

At first, sex with robots might be considered geeky, "but once you have a story like 'I had sex with a robot, and it was great!' appear someplace like Cosmo magazine, I'd expect many people to jump on the bandwagon," Levy said.

Pygmalion to Roomba

The idea of romance between humanity and our artistic and/or mechanical creations dates back to ancient times, with the Greek myth of the sculptor Pygmalion falling in love with the ivory statue he made named Galatea, to which the goddess Venus eventually granted life

This notion persists in modern times. Not only has science fiction explored this idea, but 40 years ago, scientists noticed that students at times became unusually attracted to ELIZA, a computer program designed to ask questions and mimic a psychotherapist.

"There's a trend of robots becoming more human-like in appearance and coming more in contact with humans," Levy said. "At first robots were used impersonally, in factories where they helped build automobiles, for instance. Then they were used in offices to deliver mail, or to show visitors around museums, or in homes as vacuum cleaners, such as with the Roomba. Now you have robot toys, like Sony's Aibo robot dog, or Tickle Me Elmos, or digital pets like Tamagotchis."

In his thesis, "Intimate Relationships with Artificial Partners," Levy conjectures that robots will become so human-like in appearance, function and personality that many people will fall in love with them, have sex with them and even marry them.

"It may sound a little weird, but it isn't," Levy said. "Love and sex with robots are inevitable."

Sex in 5 years

Levy argues that psychologists have identified roughly a dozen basic reasons why people fall in love, "and almost all of them could apply to human-robot relationships. For instance, one thing that prompts people to fall in love are similarities in personality and knowledge, and all of this is programmable. Another reason people are more likely to fall in love is if they know the other person likes them, and that's programmable too."

In 2006, Henrik Christensen, founder of the European Robotics Research Network, predicted that people will be having sex with robots within five years, and Levy thinks that's quite likely.

There are companies that already sell realistic sex dolls, "and it's just a matter of adding some electronics to them to add some vibration," he said, or endowing the robots with a few audio responses. "That's fairly primitive in terms of robotics, but the technology is already there."

As software becomes more advanced and the relationship between humans and robots becomes more personal, marriage could result.

"One hundred years ago, interracial marriage and same-sex marriages were illegal in the United States. Interracial marriage has been legal now for 50 years, and same-sex marriage is legal in some parts of the states," Levy said. "There has been this trend in marriage where each partner gets to make their own choice of who they want to be with."

"The question is not if this will happen, but when," Levy said. "I am convinced the answer is much earlier than you think."

When and where it'll happen

Levy predicts Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize human-robot marriage.

"Massachusetts is more liberal than most other jurisdictions in the United States and has been at the forefront of same-sex marriage," Levy said. "There's also a lot of high-tech research there at places like MIT."

Although roboticist Ronald Arkin at the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta does not think human-robot marriages will be legal anywhere by 2050, "anything's possible. And just because it's not legal doesn't mean people won't try it," he told LiveScience.

"Humans are very unusual creatures," Arkin said. "If you ask me if every human will want to marry a robot, my answer is probably not. But will there be a subset of people? There are people ready right now to marry sex toys."

The main benefit of human-robot marriage could be to make people who otherwise could not get married happier, "people who find it hard to form relationships, because they are extremely shy, or have psychological problems, or are just plain ugly or have unpleasant personalities," Levy said. "Of course, such people who completely give up the idea of forming relationships with other people are going to be few and far between, but they will be out there."

Ethical questions

The possibility of sex with robots could prove a mixed bag for humanity. For instance, robot sex could provide an outlet for criminal sexual urges.

"If you have pedophiles and you let them use a robotic child, will that reduce the incidence of them abusing real children, or will it increase it?" Arkin asked. "I don't think anyone has the answers for that yet - that's where future research needs to be done."

Keeping a robot for sex could reduce human prostitution and the problems that come with it.

However, "in a marriage or other relationship, one partner could be jealous or consider it infidelity if the other used a robot," Levy said. "But who knows, maybe some other relationships could welcome a robot. Instead of a woman saying, 'Darling, not tonight, I have a headache,' you could get 'Darling, I have a headache, why not use your robot?'"

Arkin noted that "if we allow robots to become a part of everyday life and bond with them, we'll have to ask questions about what's going to happen to our social fabric. How will they change humanity and civilization? I don't have any answers, but I think it's something we need to study. There's a real potential for intimacy here, where humans become psychologically and emotionally attached to these devices in ways we wouldn't to a vibrator."

Levy is currently writing a paper on the ethical treatment of robots. When it comes to sex and love with robots, "the ethical issues on how to treat them are something we'll have to consider very seriously, and they're very complicated issues," Levy said.

Technorati : Lust for sex

The sin of LUST

Lust Sinopsis

What it is: Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Why you do it: Oh, please.

Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be smothered in fire and brimstone. Not kisses.

Associated symbols & suchlike: Lust is linked with the cow and the color blue
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References

Medieval theologian Thomas Aquinas said of Lust:
...wherever there occurs a special kind of deformity whereby the venereal act is rendered unbecoming, there is a determinate species of lust. This may occur in two ways: First, through being contrary to right reason, and this is common to all lustful vices; secondly, because, in addition, it is contrary to the natural order of the venereal act as becoming to the human race: and this is called "the unnatural vice." This may happen in several ways. First, by procuring pollution, without any copulation, for the sake of venereal pleasure: this pertains to the sin of "uncleanness" which some call "effeminacy." Secondly, by copulation with a thing of undue species, and this is called "bestiality." Thirdly, by copulation with an undue sex, male with male, or female with female, as the Apostle states (Rm. 1:27): and this is called the "vice of sodomy." Fourthly, by not observing the natural manner of copulation, either as to undue means, or as to other monstrous and bestial manners of copulation.

The Travelers' Guide to Hell says
Lust is ruled by the celestial sign of Venus. Incidentally, this is the first book to mention the Seven Deadly Sins Homepage. I urge you to buy several copies and distribute them to all your friends. I would kiss both authors on the mouth if they would have me.


We at the Seven Deadly Sins Homepage care about you. So if you think you might be tempted to engage in a monstrous and/or bestial manner of copulation, or if you find yourself procuring some pollution without any copulation, thereby rendering yourself effeminate (as "unclean" is no longer considered an appropriate term), get help.

Take the Lust Test to determine your temptability. Carefully follow the instructions to bring some healing to your perverse soul. If you really try, maybe you can make it into the upcoming "Souls Saved By this Site" feature

List of Sin
Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.

Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.

Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.