Are You In Love Or Lust?

Are you in love, or is it lust? Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones -- it's nature's way of bringing the opposite sexes together to mate. In fact, without lust, it's doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all. The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. So lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love. And love is the most ennobling of human emotions -- transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states that can make the male of the species want "to be a better man." Men fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love. In love with lust For men, lust is a heady experience; the brain goes on hold and red-hot surges of testosterone run the show. Lust, like love, is truly blind. This is why, especially at the beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to tell whether you're in lust or love -- whether she may be "The One," or merely a passing fancy who'll have your blood boiling for only a short while. This is because men are perfectly capable of engaging in sex before they forge emotional bonds with a woman -- and those raging hormones can easily disguise themselves as feelings of love. The real danger is that both lust and love can rob a man of his natural strength and defenses -- and then it's all too easy to hand his male power over to a woman for sex-ploitation . Lust is especially dangerous because it causes a man to think with his crotch and throw all reason and logic to the wind. When a man's in lust he doesn't care if he and his partner have anything in common. He's not interested in where she comes from or where she's going. His brain is only focused on using his key to unlock the door to the secret cave. If his partner's only in lust, she'll use this against him, but if they're both falling in love, this sexuality is a bond.

Love and lust : Love neglected for lust

"Love, an emotion so strong that you would give up everything. To just feel it once, to know that you are part of something special. To know that you can feel what love really is; to know, to feel, to love." -- Source Unknown

Marriage has been an honorable institution for countless centuries. We have taken it from an arranged marriage to love, then in our times love that is "conditional."

I can almost hear the words changing in the sacred line "Till death do us part" to "Maybe, if you stay young and gorgeous."

Our divorce rates are skyrocketing, and we neglect love for lust.

A bigger controversy lurking in our society still remains. It could tear families apart. We have denied a certain faction of our population the right to have this bond, not just to claim someone on their taxes, but also to have the right to be married lawfully.

This is a repulsive virus spreading through our communities. It is called anti-gay marriage.

I think this topic needs to be addressed over and over again until people realize we are not here to say who can get married and who can't. It is not for us to declare, and I think that if people would just stop reviling gay marriage we could get the bigger and better picture.

Everyone is concerned about different things related to this subject. What would this do to our communities? How would people react? Wouldn't this cause more corruption in society?

Well, the answers are simple. Look to your hearts and comprehend that these two people, whether female or male partners, want the same love classified as your love. They want to know that when they walk down the street holding hands, it is accepted in society. No one wants his or her ways to be shunned!

What about the children of these same-sex parents? Will they turn into being gay as well? Well get your nose out of the air and realize that these children are their own people. They have their own minds and thoughts, and can't be influenced that easily.

With so many broken homes in our country, we should understand that these kids will get better homes.

I don't think their kids will be affected; I personally know this to be true.

Everyone needs to get off of his or her high horse and come back to Earth. We need to accept and love everyone no matter what his or her life is like.

My personal opinion about this is that if we love them, aren't we the better people? This is coming from someone of a conservative background, so I have learned how to not be so judgmental about life situations. I have friends and family members that want this to happen so their love and matrimony will be recognized.

We all need to stop judging, and we need to accept them with vivacity as much as the next change in society will be.

Stephanie Ward is a staff writer for the University Journal. She can be reached at sward@suujournal.com.

Lust, not love, the driving factor behind sex

RESEARCHERS in the US have found that the motivation for having sex is largely the same for men and women, seemingly shattering the myth that the genders have different reasons for racing to the bedroom.

The researchers compiled a list of 237 reasons given by US college students for getting frisky - and the top reasons for men and women were more to do with lust than a deep love connection.

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The findings would apparently contradict the assumption by some that it is only men who are motivated by lust, whereas women only want sex as an expression of a deep emotional feeling.

Seven of the top 10 reasons for men revolve around the pleasure of the act. The top response was "I was attracted to the person", while "It feels good", "It's fun" and "I wanted to experience pleasure" were also in the top four.

For women, the top response was the same: "I was attracted to the person". Six of the remaining nine answers in the top 10 were also centred on the women feeling pleasure from the act.

Three of the top 10 reasons for men and women involved providing pleasure to the partner. For women, those reasons rated slightly higher on the leaderboard.

The study was compiled - and paid for - by researchers at the University of Texas over five years and published in the August edition of the journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

"It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes ... that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love," University of Texas clinical psychology professor Cindy Meston, the study's co-author, told the Associated Press.

"That's not what I came up with in my findings. None of the gender differences are all that great.

"Men were more likely to be opportunistic towards having sex, so if sex were there and available they would jump on it, somewhat more so than women. Women were more likely to have sex because they felt they needed to please their partner."

Another expert who was not involved in the study said its findings backed up other research suggesting the often-assumed sexual differences between men and women were only factors for those with sexual problems.

Prof Meston did concede, however, that the study's focus on university students - whose "hormones run rampant" - might have affected the findings.

She said more differences may emerge as people grow older.

The bottom five reasons given by men and women were surprisingly vindictive, ranging from "I wanted to punish myself" or "I wanted to end my relationship" to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease".

Benefits also figured in the bottom rungs of the list. "I wanted to get a job" was fifth from bottom for men, while "The person offered to give me drugs for doing it" was the very lowest ranked.

"I wanted to get a job" and "I wanted a raise" were among the bottom reasons given by women.

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